I think I enjoy repetition because I often don’t know what to say.

It took me a while to realize that it actually means a lot when I say “I don’t know.”
Usually, it’s not that I know nothing — it’s that I don’t know how to say it.

Language is a tool I both love and hate.
It helps me deliver the abstract, yet it’s so hard to find the right word.
They say the more you express, the better you understand what you’re talking about.
And repetition allows me to express without the need to find the exact word.
By observing the way I express, I start to understand why I couldn’t say it — and what I actually wanted to say.

For instance,
Sometimes I found myself being anxious — everything I try to say feels wrong, so I give up and stay silent.
That’s how I realize how much I long to express precisely and be understood.

Sometimes I found myself being awkward — afraid of offending someone, so I don’t speak.
Then I realize how much I actually care about a certain point of view.

Sometimes I feel puzzled, like, I don’t know what to say in the newsletter — because I don’t think you need me to teach you, or to offer you any “value” the way common newsletters do.
I just want to make meaningful connection.
That’s how I realize what I can say in the email, and how this newsletter was made.

If you have any thought, feel free to reply.
It helps me solve the problem of not knowing what to write in the newsletter, haha.

Till next time,